Getting Through the Holidays Unscathed, Sort Of..

Tips to remember it’ll all be over soon.

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

As a kid I remember watching all those Christmas movies, you know the ones, where everyone is insanely happy to be with each other and getting every gift they wanted. The parents looked on with laughter and love while their children opened presents with glee and the mother made dinner with excitement.

Meanwhile, my life at the time was far from comparison. I was an only child while my mother struggled for money while living off the state due to a disability. Rarely did I receive anything from my wish list and having intense anxiety as a child, made the day seem endless. Adult conversations I did not understand, the utter boredom, and the want to just go home and lock myself in my own room. I knew winter vacation would soon be over and I would have to go back to school hearing how this person got the new this or new that.

I was an angry and anxious kid who dealt with bouts of depression. None of this was known to me however until my mid-20s. Also, the 80s and early 90s were a time where mental health was not exactly understood still, far less than it is today. The depressive states, adolescence, and everything in between made life a tinge harder to cope with.

Still, that child inside of me still gets anxious around the holidays. Now with my own children, I try my best to give them a fulfilled experience but mostly one that is filled with gratitude and laughter. Even with my own children and working so hard to make sure my pain is not their own, I still slide back to that child I once was.

How do we get through the holidays unscathed though? Whether it be our family unit has changed because of death, the toll of childhood trauma, or the want to not have to deal with the uninvited comments from others, the struggle is real.

I do believe in something though. Even if we tend to struggle around difficult holidays, there is still hope for us.

Here are a couple of tips and tricks that will hopefully help you:

1. Make your own traditions. There is no law stating you have to keep traditions up that may cause you distress.
2. Keep to a time limit. If you’re going to have to go somewhere where you feel you have to or were only invited because of obligation, give yourself a dedicated time to take off.
3. Volunteer somewhere you’re passionate about. Find joy in what really matters during this time of the year; doing good.
4. Rest (if you’re able to) prior to where you are going. Take time to regroup from any anxiety or upsetting feelings.
5. Run away!! Okay….at least to the other room. This is something in any situation where uncomfortable feelings loom, I do. Go to the bathroom, hang out for a minute and just breathe. Know that the time you are doing whatever it is, whether that be cooking or an invitee, the day will be over soon.

Never forget though, the holidays are just that. A day. A day where people tend to put way too much pressure on themselves. A day to look at where you have come in life and to be grateful for still walking this planet. A day to keep going to never stop believing in your dreams. A day where the sun will rise and the moon will still follow you home.